Sunday, July 26, 2009

California Fruitcake Trees and Vegitable Trees

I found this clip on College Humor

You can visit the link above but just for you, I have taken the time to transcribe her genius for your edification.

"You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day she runs this space station and bake shop down near Boomtown. She told me that human beings are flawed individuals. The cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early. And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it."

Santa Cruz, California
City Council Testimony
May 13, 2008

"Well the crops are…. growing very well and…. Uhh…. they are organic and some have pesticides and I think we should make a perfect pesticide for the crops but…ah… is good for people and is healthy and keeps the crops preserved too because we need the food because it is food and stuff. Organic food is good also…

Uh… the businesses downtown really need to lower their rent because if the rent was lower those people would really have their own businesses. They have enough stuff. They are very good at making things. They are like experts, they are really good. And we can really be a community and make the things and… uhhh…. Uhhh… sell them in our stores and I really believe that it can be a California thing that it…it can really work out because… uhhh… we can be rich and…..cotton…. and mining metals…… and silk worms….. and we could make things…. we can make things….cars. The machine…. can make it for us and we can have the community and the city…and San Fransisco… and we can make things and put them in the stores.

On the East coast they have slaves and they believe in slavery and made in China but…. on the west coast…the new west coast…we don’t believe in that. We believe in the union and that’s what we are. But in the Bush administration…which is really good….uhhh….he has government funding for small business owners.

You can grow every type of fruit and vegetable that you want. That’s how they do it. They have fruit trees and vegetable trees. That’s where fruits and vegetables come from. You freeze the fruits and vegetables…. it will last forever. You can put…. You know…. broccoli and strawberries in the freezer. It will last forever. If you don’t….it…. you know….it might go bad in a while….but………

People!…we live in California…this is our home…this is where we live. Growing food is so good for the people because it is free. All you have to do is pay the farmers and pay for the land….but why do we have to pay for the land?’s free.…it’s new land you know….Do we have to pay for the land? Do you have to pay rent? you have to pay?.... The foods free…so…. we should just sell it at the farmers market."

"Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us "


I am not picking on people from California, just the really idiotic people like this cretin and her one friend applauding at the end of her speech.

Darwin must be rolling in his grave. Back in the day, there was natural selection, survival of the fittest. Now, way too many people that would have expired before they had reached breeding age, are baring brain dead children like this who, in turn, will breed a crop of fruitcakes of their own, descent with modification Darwin called it.

When I was growing up, people like her would have been called "Tards" and kept in special Ed. class. Now they run amok among us as Right Wingnuts and your boss.

"That's right, you too. Yeah those crumbs are spread all around this universe. I've seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in Santa Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk. Down in New Orleans in the French market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe. New York, forget it. Fruitcake city. Down island, we've got fruitcakes. Spread them crumbs around. That's right, we want 'em around. Keep bakin' baby. Keep bakin'." Fruitcakes by Jimmy Buffett


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