Thursday, June 16, 2011

I, the Michele Bachman, hereby Announce my Candidacy for President of the United States!


My heartfelt views are as follows.

THE ECONOMY:

The deficit. “I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve the national debt.” I will appoint Mr. Beck to be the economics czar! He will fix it in a week!

Abolish the minimum wage. “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” I am sure I could get people to fight over a job paying $5 a day!

Jobs: If we cut the taxes of the rich and corporations, the rich will continue to remain employed! 

''I don't know where they're going to get all this money because we're running out of rich people in this country.'' 


THE WAR:



"Visiting Iraq is like a trip to Mall of America! There is marble and water everywhere." Mission Accomplished!

THE HEALTH:
“Normalization” of homosexuality would lead to “desensitization”

 ‘Do you know that the music for The Lion King movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.”
Gay singers should repent after getting cancer.

"And what a bizarre time we're in, when a judge will say to little children that you can't say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it."



''Does that mean that someone's 13-year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus? That night, mom and dad are never the wiser.'' 
 
''Death panels are the bureaucracies that President Obama is establishing where bureaucrats will make the decision on who gets health care and how much.



THE SCIENCE:  


"I don't think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist." They try to blind me with science!


“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

''Carbon dioxide is natural, it is not harmful, it is a part of Earth's life cycle. And yet we're being told that we have to reduce this natural substance, reduce the American standard of living, to create an arbitrary reduction in something that is naturally occurring in Earth.'' 


“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design."

THE HISTORY:
 


''But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. ... I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our for-bearers who worked tirelessly -- men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country.'' I am smarter than Palin even though the founding fathers did not fight against slavery nor was Adams a founding father, opps.


THE CULTURE:

"Not all cultures are equal." If you are not white and male, your nothing!

"Congressional liberals ought to be subject to "an expose" by the media because of their views." Conservatives do not need to be exposed and anyone that does not think just the way I do is a hieratic!

So I say to you, who is the greatest person in the land?
ME!
Who is will be the greatest president of all times, except for god?
ME!
You must vote for me to save us from you!

''What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing.'' 

“I have experienced that throughout my political career, being labeled a kook"

Sincerely

President for life (crossing my fingers)

Michele Bachmann

 

 

Steve
*sigh*



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